For all its entertainment value, Runnin’ Rebel Madness didn’t provide much of a chance for basketball analysis. The players shot 3-pointers, dunked, and danced a little, but all in the name of fun. It’s hard to analyze that in a meaningful way.
But I was determined to come away from the event with something for the hardcore readers of RunRebs.com. And because I’m willing to go that extra mile, there was another aspect of Runnin’ Rebel Madness that did lend itself to scrutiny. After all the on-court festivities, the players sat down at tables and signed autographs for hordes of fans. Bingo.
The skills displayed during the dunk exhibition and shooting contest may not carry over to the regular season very much, but I’m pretty sure the Rebels’ handwriting is going to remain consistent. So I sent Vegas Seven assistant web producer Amber Sampson into the fray to collect as many autographs as possible, and after studying a couple totally legit* web sites for upwards of 20 whole minutes, I’m now confident in saying I’m an expert in the field of handwriting analysis. (* may not actually be legit.)
We weren’t able to get signatures from every player—security was suspicious of Amber and even ripped up one of her autographs because she got it on a 3×5 card, not the approved Runnin’ Rebel Madness poster being handed out—but the results are illuminating.
Let’s find out what handwriting analysis reveals about the Runnin’ Rebels:
(PS: Don’t take any of this seriously.)
Signature: Jalen Poyser
Relevant analysis: Placing heavy pressure on the pen displays a need to take things seriously. A straight “lower stroke” on j’s, p’s and y’s indicates impatience and a desire to complete tasks efficiently. Short “upper strokes” show someone who likes to think things through.
What it means: Poyser’s penmanship grades out pretty well for a point guard. He’s task-oriented and efficient, more concerned with getting the job done than showing off with flashy displays. His dunking may indicate otherwise, but Poyser’s sig says he’s grounded and economical.
Signature: Jerome Seagears
Relevant analysis: A full “lower loop” in the j’s and g’s indicates vast reservoirs of energy. The “flow” with all letters connected shows a rational, sensible thought process. General slant to the right demonstrates an openness to communicate.
What it means: Seagears is a senior leader for the Rebels, and judging by his signature, he’s well-suited to the role. His communication and energy are both traits of a leader, and his level-headed, reasonable thinking should translate into a steady guiding presence at point guard and in the locker room.
Signature: Dwayne Morgan
Relevant analysis: Small, cramped style could illustrate communication issues, or a personality more suited to internal thoughts. Interrupted “flow,” with not all letters connected, could indicate someone who relies more on their own intuition more than outside influences. Upright slant is a sign of independence.
What it means: Morgan has the signature of an independent person. He believes in himself more than he believes in others and likes to follow his gut as opposed to outside factors. That may leave him vulnerable when communicating with teammates and coaches, but could serve as an effective insulator against criticism. His tough-minded self-reliance makes him the strong, silent type.
Signature: Ike Nwamu
Relevant analysis: Extreme right slant on capital letters indicates an outgoing personality. Heavy pressure on the paper expresses confidence. Straight slope with sharp angles (with minimal loops) show self-control and a probing personality.
What it means: Nwamu is a straight shooter. What you see is what you get, as he speaks and acts with conviction and is not afraid to express himself. For a player who is set to play a big role in his first (and only) season with the team, it should comfort Rebels fans to know that Nwamu won’t be shy about playin aggressively and getting his share.
Signature: Derrick Jones
Relevant analysis: Small, close-cropped letters suggest lack of ego. Proportionate capital letters show humbleness. No dots between the initials could indicate a reckless streak.
What it means: Jones is a soft-spoken young man (just watch his episode of “Heating Up” for evidence of that), so it’s no surprise that his handwriting backs that up. And his recklessness isn’t a surprise either, considering some of the acrobatic aerial stunts he’s performed (he came back from an injured ankle and jumped over three teammates to win the dunk contest at Runnin’ Rebel Madness). His lack of ego and willingness to put his body on the line should make him an ideal freshman contributor this season.
Signature: Goodluck Okonoboh
Relevant analysis: Inconsistent flow indicates active imagination. Large scale is evidence of an outgoing, emotive personality. Long trailing line implies an aggressive mindset.
What it means: This is the analysis I’m least confident about. Honestly, Goodluck, what is this signature? I can’t make out one letter! But an imaginative, aggressive shot-blocker is something the Rebels could really use this season.
Signature: Tyrell Green
Relevant analysis: Large, extravagant capital letters are a sign of a healthy ego. Rising slope is evidence of extreme optimism and self-confidence. Long trailing lines express agression.
What it means: Are we sure Green is really Canadian? According to his signature, he’s an aggressive showboat who will shoot the rock every time he touches it. I must be doing something wrong here.
Signature: Dave Rice
Relevant analysis: Dot centered directly above the “i” indicates precision and attention to detail. Consistent flow is a sign of balanced, analytical thinking. Wide space between words implies a hands-off attitude toward personal communication.
What it means: Rice’s signature has several hallmarks of a professional coach. He has a serious, business-like demeanor and a meticulous approach to completing tasks. Those are necessities for surviving the grind of coaching at a high level. The wide spacing may mean Rice could stand to communicate more with his team on a personal level in order to build better relationships. But as the head coach, some distance is necessary to gain proper perspective.